Does this affect my health insurance at Petco?

My dad was laid off recently.  He seems okay most the time.  I tried to make him feel better by offering my favorite toy octopus. I don’t think it helped, though.

I also told him that I should be getting my annual bone-us soon, and I was expecting it to be in the hundreds of bones.

That made him smile.

Sad Doug


Dear Neighbor

Neighbor Letter

In response to your undated letter left on my doorstep, I regret to inform you that I will be unable to meet your requests. First, I have a daily quota to maintain – a bark quota, if you will. I find that I barely have enough time to meet that quota while still maintaining other duties that I have to see through during the day, like pooping in the house and eating the trash. Second, being so small, my bark may barely be considered a nuisance at all. Consider it a sonnet. Finally, my communication is a reaction to outside stimuli, which may be a burglar, other dog, or, even worse, a SQUIRREL. The safety of my house, which contains all my bones and toys, is my top priority.

I apologize for any inconvenience this may create. Please direct all further inquiries to:

Santa Monica Airport Dog Park
3201 Airport Ave
Santa Monica, CA 90405

Kind regards,

Douglas P. Dogworth, III.

Dear world……………

Today I decided to poop in the house while my parents weren’t looking.  Also, my mom left the gas burner on last night, and I didn’t bark or anything like that to warn them.  All in all, a typical day.

Note to self:  Poop in house immediately after being walked.  Preferably somewhere hidden.